Is your toddler suddenly playing jack-in-the-box at bedtime?

You tuck them in, walk out… and two minutes later, there they are… again.

When we first moved my daughter from her cot to a big bed, it actually went really smoothly. She didn’t even seem to realise she could get out by herself and honestly, I didn’t correct her. She was happy, settled, and it felt like a dream transition.

But then, one afternoon, she and her older sister were playing a game of “Mums and Dads” in her room. They were putting the “little sister” to bed in her new big bed, reenacting everything we do at night.

Her big sister kept climbing in and out of the bed as part of the game.

And just like that, the idea landed: Oh, I can do that too.

That night, the jack-in-the-box behaviour started.

She was up. Then up again. And again.

And I’m a sleep consultant.

Why the Cot-to-Bed Transition Feels So Hard

Here’s the thing: the move from cot to bed is a huge leap in independence, and it often comes with testing limits, bedtime power struggles, and constant interruptions. It’s not that your child is being “naughty”; they’re adjusting to a new kind of freedom without clear boundaries.

And while it feels like they should just stay in bed if they’re tired, the reality is they often can’t. That’s because impulse control, the part of the brain responsible for thinking I want to get up… but I’ll stay here instead, doesn’t fully develop until closer to 3 years old.

So now, if your child is under 2.5 or 3 years of age and they’re not climbing out of the cot or facing a safety issue, I strongly recommend waiting. Holding off on the transition gives your child time to develop the emotional maturity and cognitive skills needed to actually succeed in a big bed.

And if you’ve already made the move? If they’re much younger, consider reintroducing the cot if it’s still an option.

Don’t worry. With the right boundaries and support, it can still work. It just means they’ll need more help from you to stay consistent until their brain can do it for them.

The good news? With the right plan, consistency, and a bit of emotional support, your toddler can learn to stay in bed and feel safe doing it.

I’ve helped dozens of families turn this messy transition into a smooth one, without yelling or bribes.

3 Quick Tips to Smooth the Transition

So how do you make the big bed transition a success, or rescue it if it’s already gone off the rails? Here are a few simple strategies that can make a big difference:

1. Set the room up for sleep

Keep the environment calm and distraction-free. Just because it’s a big bed doesn’t mean it needs “big energy.”

Keep the room cool and dark, and if your child has a genuine fear of the dark (which can emerge around 2.5–3 years), a dim, warm-coloured night light is a helpful support.

2. Offer simple choices to boost cooperation

Let them feel a little bit in charge within the structure you set.

Think: “Do you want 1 or 2 books?” or “Walk or piggyback to bed?”

3. Set a clear boundary and follow through with calm consistency

If they come out of bed, use a neutral, firm response:

“It’s bedtime now, I’ll walk you back to bed”

Avoid engaging in conversation, negotiation, or emotion. Calmly walk them back and repeat as needed. Boundaries work best when they’re calm, consistent and predictable.

What You're Really Teaching

You’re not being too strict. You’re showing them the safety of consistency. These moments feel hard because they are, but they don’t last forever.

The testing feels exhausting… because it is.

But what you’re teaching isn’t just “stay in bed.” You’re teaching security. Predictability. Confidence in you.

When your toddler knows what to expect and sees you holding that loving boundary over and over again, they settle faster.

They sleep better. And so do you.

Need Help With the Transition?

If your child’s move to a big bed has turned into a nightly battle, I’ve created something to help.

Big Bed, Brave Sleep is my digital guide for this exact phase, written for children 2.5 years and older, when sleep can get messy fast.

Inside, you’ll find:

• ✔️ Clear signs of readiness and why waiting until closer to 3 makes a difference

• 🛏️ How to create a calm, distraction-free bedroom that supports better sleep

• 🔁 Bedtime routines, visual cues, and role play ideas to build predictability and connection

• 🗣️ Scripts and boundary-setting language that actually work in the moment

• 🎉 Age-appropriate reward strategies that build confidence, not chaos

👉 Grab your copy here and turn this phase into a calm, confident one… for both of you.